Would it surprise you if I told you that we're moving again? Probably not.
Hey! We're moving back to Utah! Because we want to. (I know. You never thought you'd hear me say it.) We're really excited about it. Some things I am looking forward to about Salt Lake (round 2, with new eyes): 1. COMMUNITY. Hands down, this is what I miss most and am most excited about. Friends and family, and friends who are family to us, I ache to be near you again. I miss you! 2. Buying a house. A house! That we get to fix up and decorate and make just our own + share with our friends of course. 3. Building a permaculture garden. Spencer and Bradley, please give me all your knowledge and show me your ways. 4. Sushi: Who woulda thought my favorite sushi place was here all along? 5. Actually biking for real this time. I promise I'm going to do it, even though I said it about everywhere else. But the hillllls man. Seattle hills are rough. 6. Coffee shops. Seattle has some great coffee, but my favorite little coffee shops in Salt Lake are just so cozy and homey. 7. Abdullah's potlucks. 8. The mountains. 9. Hopefully teaching Pilates. 10. Everything is cheap cheap cheap! It's funny to see some things from these previous posts pop up on my list again. (Here and here) Cue Counting Crows song about how you don't know what you've got til it's gone and paving paradise to put up a parking lot, yada yada. I am the absolute worst (or best?) at this. That song pretty much sums up my life. So I'm trying to go back to Salt Lake with a different perspective. We'll see. Things I am not looking forward to about Salt Lake: (maybe this list will keep my expectations in check) 1. Snow x a million 2. Air- the worst there is, second to maybe China only. 3. No offense people that I love, please don't take any, but splitting my time up between you all/feeling obligated to attend every thing for everyone can be a bit overwhelming. If I can't come to something, it doesn't mean I don't love you! 4. Pressure to be anything other than what I am and what I feel is best for me and my family. It has been so healthy for me to be away from that pressure and to find a sense of self-worth outside of others' expectations. I hope I can hold to it when I move back. Four things. Could be way worse. ;) I will miss so much about Seattle too: the great friends we've made, cider, the rain, the smell of the air, and all the beautiful nature. But I feel ready to move on for now, and I'm excited about the future. Y mucho más que estoy entusiasmado. But that's for a later blog post. See you in July!
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Mom,
As mother's day approached this year, I kept feeling like I needed to do something extra special for you. I thought of all these things I could make for you, and I thought "This will be the year where I actually send a real, tangible card which you can open up and all, and a package too!" Procrastination, my pal, you got the best of me again. There is no card on it's way, nor package. But know that I intended one to be. Maybe a few months down the line, it will actually show up! These past few months have been especially sentimental for me, and I have found myself thinking of you often. (Can you tell by the million phones calls each week?!) I am just so grateful for you in my life. You are such a strong woman! I hope you know that. I am now realizing that your independence, confidence, and ability to get what you want (about which we often tease you and chalk up to manipulation or swindling) are the most wonderful qualities. Why can't we respect women for their indepence? Why do we mask it as manipulation? Why do we turn it into a negative- or at best, a joke? I think it's because this quality is so rare these days. We, as a society, have trained it out of women. We've taught women to be submissive and subordinate, and when they don't fit this mold, we are are taken aback and make judgements because we don't know what else to do. That's what I think. You have taught me some of the most valuable life lessons. Lessons which no one else was able or brave enough to teach- not other women, not men, not school, not religion. Though it was hard for me to understand before, I know why you placed so much importance on self-love and self-care as a mother. I know why you advised me to prioritize my own interests; to keep working; to keep living my own life when I become a mother. I get it now. So mom, please forgive me for the times I have not respected you, for the times I have made you to feel inadequate or unimportant, and know that that was just me trying to make sense of a woman who didn't fit the mold. Who couldn't fit the mold because her greatness could never be contained in that tiny box. Do you see how special that is? Can you feel your greatness? I hope so. And I hope to be more like that in my own life. Gosh you are the greatest, and I love you so so much! Here are some of the the silly/adorable/sweet things that Harry (and Izzie) have been saying lately; the things that make my job so wonderful.
Pointing to a photo of himself: "Here's me. The one with the curly hair. You know him..." On the way to school one morning Harry, *sadly: "Elle, there's something that my teacher doesn't believe me on." Me: "What's that Harry?" She doesn't believe me that God is just an idea. I tried to tell her, but she thinks god is REAL!" Izzie, completely nonchalantly: "I think my fish is trying to kill himself..." as she slow nods her head a few times. Harry: "You're quite thin and bony." pause "Though, I love you just the way you are. Harry on our hike: "All explorers need a stick! Except Dora... because she always figured out the way. No need!" *shrug Harry, showing me his clay creation: "Look it's Lucy! Can we cook her?" (Lucy is his kindergarten crush. He made a miniature version of her out of clay.) Harry: "What type of ball do you use for baseball?" Me: 😑 Harry completely out of the blue: "I'm beginning to be a tall man!" Harry: "Top tip! Always use the black apple slicer. Brand, EFC! Stands for 'After a while, Crocodile, sharp as can be!'" Me: Whatttt? Harry: "Well, I don't know. ....What did I say again?" Izzie: "Harry, what year were you born?" Harry, without skipping a beat: "Year of the cow." Harry, as I'm reading him a goodnight story, grabs my arm and says: "Your arm is so thin!" Me: "Your's is thinner. Go to sleep!" 5 mintes later, he shakes his head and mumbles to himself, "Just so thin..." Harry, out of the blue: "I kind of like how no one rules the world. I really love that. The world just does what it wants." Both kids keep asking if their next nanny can be a "he-nanny." Harry says: "It's just that we've had she-nanny, she-nanny, she-nanny, she-nanny. We're ready for a he-nanny!" |
ELLEfeminist. linguist. traveller. foodie. crafter. ARCHIVES
January 2018
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